Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Decaf Kind of Girl!

The other day my girls wanted to ditch me for a school football game, so I dropped them off at the game picked up my Momma and headed over to Himbos house. Yes my Mom.

My Mom loves to hang out at Himbos for the following reasons:


1. Because he got her hooked on watching Six Feet Under

2. We always pick up a pie from Marie Calendar's on the way over, and she's not allowed to eat junk food or too much sugar but I make an exception when we are at Himbos so needless to say a pie makes her little heart sing!

3. Most importantly because she's not allowed to have coffee hardly ever, so it's a treat for her to have it in the first place...Well Himbo makes a pot of his gourmet coffee AND loads it up with flavored creamer for her!

4. Oh yeah...and according to the both of them "How can you not want to hangout with The Luxurious Prince Himbo?"

So we hung out, had a blast... killed the entire pie and they both drank about two pots of coffee! I say "they" because I am a decaf only kind of girl. I can't have coffee because I will not shut the fuck up! I will talk and talk and TALK, my little heart races, I start feeling light headed, I develop a headache then I crash...HARD! Yup that's my relationship with those magic little beans... Well that night the coffee smelled sooo yummy and I seemed to have drank all the fruit punch Himbo keeps on hand for me so I poured myself a cup.

Aww man it was DELICIOUS! I drank the entire cup.

I got back home around 1:30am-ish and started talking to my Hubby about my entire day... and talking... and talking. He had this look on his face like, "Really? ... you have this much to talk about right now?"

Then I realized I sounded just like this:
video

So I simply said "Oh, I had coffee at Himbos..."

Hubby then nodded and smiled, now understanding why his wife was acting like a spun-out crack head.

I had to forced myself to fall asleep by counting the endless number of heart palpitation's per minute!

Thanks Himbo.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Loves It...Loves It Not

Bon Don Loves It:
When my spoiled brat keeps
her beanie baby away from me
(look at that stare!)
Bon Don Loves It, Not:
Touching me with dirty hands
or eating with dirty hands.
Who does that? Honestly!
Bon Don Loves It:
My Pretty Pradas,
they don't hurt my nose like wire frames
and I look super nerdy cool!

Bon Don Loves It, Not:
Sitting in a chair that someones ass heat
just kicked the temperature up to blazing hot.
Can two cheeks really produce THAT much heat?

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Feeling The Love

Yay Another Award!
Lip Smacker over at Lipstick Diaries
gave me The Uber (synonym to Super) Amazing Blog Award
(Thanks Lipsmacker! You know I got your back!)
This blog award given to sites that:
~ inspire you ~
makes you smile and laugh
~ gives amazing information ~
~is a great read~
~ has an amazing design ~
and/or any other reasons you can think of that makes them uber amazing!


The rules of this award are: Put the logo on your blog or post.
Nominate at least 5 blogs that for you are Uber Amazing!
Let them know that they have received this Uber Amazing award by commenting on their blog. Share the love and link to this post and to the person you received your award from.

I'd like to pass this award to the following 5 Uber Amazing Bloggers!

(Is Uber Amazing! Always Funny & Witty)

(Always makes me smile and laugh out loud in front of my boss!)

3. Tova Darling over at The Secret Life of Tova Darling
(She gives amazing insight and information)

4. Lbluca over at LBLUCA77
(Is always a great read)

5. Gabby over at Gabby She Wrote
(My girl from the OC has a very cute blog design!)

Little Chat With Myself

Hey Bon Don, you called into work yesterday... you must be really busy catching up on all the work that was left from Monday.
Umm no not really, all I did today was have Dula Dip take a knife looking thing to my hair and shred chunks of hair off.
Yup! It now looks like there is a kitty cat sleeping in my trash can!
Very productive.

Pop!

Yay my very first award!
My Girl Mich over at Who Is Mich? popped my award cherry by bestowing this fabulous award on my blog!



This award is in Spanish, it is the Proximidade Award, which celebrates bloggy friendships. It means, "This blog invests and believes in 'proximity' [meaning, that blogging makes us 'close' - being close through proxy]."

Monday, November 17, 2008

Don't you just love Mondays?
You can just roll out of bed stumble into your daughters room ask her to rub the kinks you have in your back, because your hubby and spoiled doggy take up the whole bed forcing you to sleep contorted (and not in a good way) rolled up in a fetal position on the edge of your bed.
Then take a long hot shower trying to wake up.


When you get out of the shower your other daughter has your clothes ready fresh from the dryer so they are nice & toasty. After dressing you grab your purse and head out the door, when you get to your car it's already warmed up with the heater blowing, kids waiting patiently and the waffle sandwich that your daughter made, awaits you for the drive to school.


You dropped the kids off at school down the street and proceed to finish driving that long 7 minute ride to work. Get to work and park for 25 minutes while you put on your make-up and listen to all the new CD's your hubby made you.


You get into work, spend the whole morning catching up with friends and co-workers on how their weekend was, go and get your morning muffin, ice cold milk and water.


Sit back at your desk refill your miniature shopping cart with candy, go through emails, catch up on all the blogs you missed this weekend and count down the minutes till lunch time.

Friday, November 14, 2008

15 Mother F**ker's

Well you all know Bon Don's Hubby by now...

Kind of a smart ass, but very funny. He doesn't get angry with people the way I do after I've been extremely irritated. I've said before that he's a driver, I wasn't going to go into detail about his job before but this is one of the MANY stories he has from life on the road and I thought it was funny! My Hubby is a bus driver...yes a bus driver in California...
a bus driver in California with all us crazy people!

Here's the scene: Hubby pulls up to a stop opens the door, when a 95lb little miniature broken down Whoopi Goldberg look-alike stumbles onto the bus shit faced drunk as hell. She hangs onto the fare box to stop herself from swaying, and yells at him...
"How the Fuck do I get to Mother Fucken Gardenia?"


Hubby: You know...I'm not familiar with Gardenia...I honestly don't know. Sorry.

Drunk Lady: Ok so then where is the Mother Fucken Metrolink?

Hubby: The Metrolink is back the other way, you're going in the wrong direction.

Drunk Lady: Mother Fucker!!!... the other mother fucker told me it was this way!! Which one of you mother fuckers is lying to me?!!

Hubby: Maybe he was wrong, I don't know...but I do know that the Metrolink is towards the other direction, because if you stay on this bus you'll be heading towards the beach.

Drunk Lady: Well where does this mother fucken bus go?

Hubby: This bus goes to Huntington Beach.

Drunk Lady: Mother Fucken Huntington Beach?

Hubby: Yes.

Drunk Lady: Where the fuck am I at right now?

Hubby: Well right now you are in Stanton.

Drunk Lady: Mother Fucken Stanton!!?

Hubby: Yes.

Drunk Lady: Well give me one of those mother fucken tickets then.

Hubby: You've only put in 50 cents so that will only buy you one trip, if you're disabled.

Drunk Lady: Whatchu mean mother fucker it's not like I'm not going to pay for the mother fucker! let me off this mother fucken bus! (now she's trying to open the door)

Hubby: You have to wait for the next bus stop.

Hubby: (Hubby pulls up to the next stop and says) Here you go...remember next time before you come out and play, you need to know where you're going and where you're at.

Drunk Lady: Fuck you you fat mother fucker!

Hubby: Ok you "Ugly Mother Fucker"!

Drunk Lady stops in her tracks and starts laughing really hard turns around and says "Stupid Mother Fucker!"

Hubby: Ok well you have a good night "Lost" mother fucker! Closes the doors and leaves!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Real Quick

Ok so a few years back when the "Luxurious" Himbo and I started hanging out I noticed he was always doing things and making comments that just screamed "Bimbo"

So I started calling him a Bimbo and eventually it just turned into Himbo. It's funny because the guy is pretty smart, he's a number cruncher for crying out loud! But when it comes to the little things, well... he's a Himbo.

Here's an example of his "Himbo-ness"...remember the picture below (in my last post) the one with Himbo taking a picture with the pretty sky and my car in the background? Well last night I was over at his house watching TV, when he jumped online and started checking our blogs.


Conversation was as follows:

Himbo: I'm going on your blog right now,
I wanna see the pictures again *sits in front of his computer*
Bon Don: K... *sits up and turns towards Himbo*
Himbo: The sky looked so nice, what a pretty color! *admiring the picture*
Bon Don: Yeah, it came out nice...too bad my car was in the shot
Himbo: *starring and concentrating at the screen* wait...
Bon Don: What? What are you looking at?
Himbo: I'm just trying to see if I can see you in the car! *still concentrating on the screen*
Bon Don: *Laughing* HAHAHA No ass I wasn't in the car... I took the fricken' picture remember?!
Himbo: Oh Yeah! *falls off chair laughing*

...Really Himbo?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So tomorrow being Friday, I decided to call it "Funny Friday"
and being that it's "Funny Friday" I have another story for you guys!
It involves my Hubby... and a drunk lady.
It's a true story and it just happened last night, but I will make you wait.
*Warning*
I have to tell it exactly the way it went down which means,
the post will be completely filled with cuss words ...
I will understand if you choose to ignore my blog post entirely tomorrow. (but come back)
"And that's all I have to say about that."

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Bad Blogger

Those of you who visit Himbo's blog have noticed that lately he has been posting a few pictures of our "Autumn Sky's" out here in the OC.

Well yesterday we drove up to the roof of our parking structure at work so he could get a few shot's for his blog, so I busted out my camera and took some pictures of him being a wonderful blogger and giving his readers pretty pictures to look at!











I on the other hand suck... I don't give you pretty "Autumn Sky's" pictures to look at and tell you about my lovely walk home and appreciation for life. I tell you how I cuss people out a the voting polls and how my husband pisses on people's desks! I'm sorry.

How about I make it up to you with these lovely pictures of my favorite desk toy and this awesome little monkey?!



Ok good
I feel better now...
you're welcome!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A Cake Story

Let me tell you a little story about a piece of chocolate cake...
One day my friend Reina Bee went on a mission to find this yummy piece of chocolate cake her friend had told her about. Reina gets to the restaurant where said cake is made and asks the girl behind the counter the following...

Reina Bee: "I need a slice of your Chocolate Wipe Out Cake,
I hear it's delicious."
Girl: "Sure, would you like it with nuts or chips?"
Reina Bee: (In a very condescending tone says)
Wait, what do you mean? Like "Lays Potato Chips"?
Girl: (says very sweet)
Oh no I meant chocolate chips...
Reina Bee: "Well then... that would make more sense than wouldn't it?!"

Well after joking that a cake with "Lay's Potato Chips"
didn't really sound all that bad...
Yup you guessed it, she made one! She hadn't put the chips on it yet in this picture because she didn't want them to get stale so tonight I shall try her Chocolate "Chip" Cake!

Wish me luck

***UPDATE***
Fat girls verdict: (me, Reina & Himbo)
"It's Delicious!"

Monday, November 10, 2008

Friday, Hubby stayed home which was perfect because after work a couple of us cool kids felt like grabbing a bite to eat and having a few drinks. Reina Bee & Lo-Mel were in the mood for some Sushi, and Himbo is never one to turn down slimy fishy stuff so off we went!

Friday night actually ran a little longer than expected, and we all partied like Rockstar's ... well some a little more than others! But here's a few pictures of the beginning of the night when everyone was on their best behavior! *wink wink*

Himbolicious & Dula Dip












Reina Bee & Lo











Well some of us ate...

and well, some of us drank...Bon Don (lush)





















Oh and here is Himbo dazzling us with his table drumming while flicking left over Wasabi in our direction!
Magical really.

Friday, November 7, 2008

I'm It!

Looks like I was tagged by Mich at Who Is Mich?

So here it goes....

1. Were you named after anyone?
Yes, my dad has twin nieces and he named me after one...weird thing is her first daughter was named Brittany (I didn't realize at the time) and I named my doggy Brittany too.

2. Do you still have your tonsils?
Yes I do, I don't think I need them out... but the extra room in my throat wouldn't be so bad! (HEY! dirty birdy's I didn't mean it that way!)


3. Would you bungee jump?
Ummm not so much anymore...Bon Don is not a little person, therefore it wouldn't be a good idea to hook me up to a cord and expect me not to snap it!


4. What is your favorite cereal?
Right now Honey Nut Cheerios (kinda boring but still covered with yummy sugar)

5. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Nope. I wear Flats & Sandals ALL THE TIME!


6. What is your favorite ice cream?
Italian Ice Cream, Watermelon!


7. What is the first thing you notice about people?
Well no matter what, right off the bat I always try and find something pretty about every person I meet...eyes, smile, hair

8. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?
Being obsessive. nuff said there!


9. What was the last thing you ate?
Two pieces whole wheat toast with raspberry jam.

10. What are you listening to right now?
D'yer Mak'er - Led Zeppelin
... Ooo Ooh Ooo ooh Ooo oo you don't have to go ooh Ooh

11. Last movie you watched?
Lethal Weapon 4 (Obviously i was forced to watch it)


12. What did you dream about last night?
Don't remember dreaming because I was too busy hanging off the bed! (not as fun as it sounds folks)

13. What book are you reading?
David Sedaris - When You Are Engulfed in Flames YAY!!

14. Summer or winter?
Winter, only because I can have an excuse to wrap myself up in comfy blankets and bake!

15. Do you have any special talents?
I can speed read...wait does it count if I don't remember what I read? *wink*

I Tag....

Himbo @ Confessions of a Fantabulous Himbo
Gabby @ Gabby She Wrote
bekahboo @ The Smell of Wine and Cheap Perfume
my sista @ Runaway Train
copy, paste, tag.... you know what to do!
Yay my Sister has finally come into the blog world!
let's show this old' bitty some love...

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Gotta Love Those Random Drug Tests

After my story yesterday about my little "outburst"
and this next story I'm about to tell you,
you may get a bad impression from me & my Hubby...
just try not to hold it against me.*giggle*

In our defense, we are not always so... umm...
what's the word I'm looking for? ... mean?
Ok we'll go with "mean", we are not mean people but honestly
sometimes people can just annoy you to a point of no return!

So my Hubby's job requires random drug tests like most companies do,
but because of his profession he is not even allowed to have alcohol in his
system even if he works the next day.
Yes, I know pretty strict, sometimes it sucks.

Anyway yesterday Hubby gets called in to the clinic to take a drug test,
which is totally fine because Hubby obviously hasn't been drinking
and definitely doesn't have any dope in his system.

Hubby arrives at the clinic and only see’s the janitor cleaning the lobby, the janitor tells Hubby that the little nurse man is probably out back smoking a cigarette and he’ll go and get him. Hubby’s not really in a hurry at this point but thanks the janitor and off he goes.

Little nurse man comes back inside reeking of smoke looking a little annoyed that he was disturbed during his smoke break and hands Hubby a cup to piss in and says “fill it up to this line”

Hubby had just taken a break about 15 minutes before he was notified to take his drug test so he doesn’t really have to go at this point, but he tried anyway and got close enough to the “line” he was supposed to reach.

Well now little nurse man takes the cup and has to fill up two separate vials, he's pours the first one and spills. Little nurse man seemed to be irritated because this happened. Now he's attempting to fill the second one but he doesn't have enough "liquid" to fill it. Had he not spilled the first one he could have totally filled the second one! So what does little nurse man do?

He spilled out both vials and hands Hubby a new cup and says
"Do it again!"

Hubby's starting to get a little upset with little nurse man
and tells him a thing or two about his attitude
and how it was his fault for spilling the goods.

Now Hubby has to drink his weight in water and sit there for about an hour, when finally he's ready to go. He tells little nurse man he needs a cup and little nurse mans says,
"Now "YOU'RE" going to have to wait!" all snooty.

Really little nurse man? You dare challenge Bon Don's Hubby!

Little nurse man finally gives Hubby the cup and tells him
not to turn on the water faucet to wash his hands until
after he brings the cup back to him. So Hubby knows
he can't knock out little nurse man for being an asshole
of course Hubby has more sense than that to jeopardize his job,
but it wouldn't be right if little nurse man felt all
high & mighty for being a little punk right!?

Now what does Hubby do?
Well being awesome and vengeful like his dear wife (me)
his pisses in the cup (to the line)
then proceeds to piss all over the outside of the cup
all over his hand to the point where there is piss everywhere...
then walks over and places it right on little nurse man's desk
with a piss ring and piss dropping onto the desk.
Washes his hands and tells little nurse man to have a good night.

Yup that's my man!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Adventures In Voting...

So today I told this little story during lunch and
Himbo insisted that I tell you all.

*Disclaimer Side Note: Yes, I have been known to a little opinionated in public, NOT all the time! I'm not one of those obnoxious people, but when it's called for I don't hold back. And YES for the record I will admit I was a little annoyed to begin with because I was a tad-bit hungry. My bad.

Yesterday I left work a little early to hit the voting polls, I finally get to where I thought was my voting place and stood in line with every walk of life in Orange County, when all of a sudden this 400lb trashy looking loud mouth, power hungry heifer started yelling at all of the volunteers for calling people next in line, she actually said "NO!! Don't you call these people in again, I already told you I'll bring them in...you're gonna screw it all up again!!"
So now this nasty beotch is hollering near my ear, so I picked up my hand as to keep her at bay and I turned my head a little with what I can only imagine as a look of disgust on my face. She finally gets the hint and takes her and her stained shirt back inside.

*Another Side Note: I have a hard time controlling my facial expressions (I've been told) and sometimes I have to really try and keep them under control.

Meanwhile there is the world's stupidest conversation
going on in line right in front of me!

Like I said before, there was like every walk of life in line right.
Well in front of me there's this little blond petite girl, in front of her there is this other normal looking mexican chick and some guy talking to the this young girl to my left, I'll say about 19 or 20 she looks kind of normal, tight pants with wedge shoes tank top and hair in one of those faux hawk bumps...trashy but "normal" that is until the idiot speaks!

I'm not sure of how familiar everyone is with the "spanglish accent" we have going on our here in Cali sometimes but it's horrible and that's one of my BIGGEST pet peeves!
Almost like Rosie Perez with a Mexican twist.

ANYWAY, so this girl (we'll call her Rosie Perez)
starts talking to this guy in my line
(I guess they went to school together or something)
and in her Spanglish accent Rosie Perez says,
"YeAAhh I hate school it's stooopid, I'm gonna just drop out and work two jobs or somethin' cause I just don't like it" The guy says something back to her, I didn't really pay attention because I was too busy giggling out loud AT her.

Well now big heifer comes back to tell people to make two lines according to last names A through L in one line and the rest in my line, the guy stays in my line and Rosie Perez asks "What's your last name howcome your over there?"
and the guys says something like "Williamson"
and Rosie Perez said "Eew like a white boy, you have a white boy last name!"

again I'm giggling out loud and by this time I'm sure my face looked like "you're kidding right" I was kind of embarrassed for her, there was about 30people in line.

So now Rosie Perez is getting antsy and says "Ugh this is taking long"
and young Mr. Williamson says "Who are you voting for?"
Rosie Perez says "I don't even know, I don't even know why I'm voting"
then of course i couldn't take it anymore and I said
"You're a Fucken Idiot!"
Rosie Perez turned around and said "Are you talking to me?"
I said "YES! You're a Fucken Idiot!"
She turn around and mumbled "whatever"
So I said, "You don't even know why you're even voting?!
You shouldn't even be here,
you should just stick to stripping you Fucken Idiot!"
(nothing against strippers, I have plenty of friends who are "dancers")

I know a bit harsh but she deserved it. right?

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

CHECK IT OUT

Check out Far at Everyday Soap Opera she's doing a giveaway on her already awesome site, this girl is too cool for school.


Himbo and I had agreed if we are ever in the Canada neighborhood, you know "just kind of passing through" we have to totally party with her, Mich and the rest of those fun girls!


YAY FAR!

I'm Good.

Well after about a week of celebrating my birthday like a Rockstar, it's finally over. Thank goodness for that because my liver & kidneys need a break! I layed low these past couple of days to recuperate,
this old bitty ain't what she used to be!

Don't get me wrong though, I had a BLAST... I hung out with every cool kid I know, I was spoiled rotten by my Hubby and friends, I ate and drank everything my little heart desired, I got awesome gifts. I love birthdays.

Yesterday I hung out with "The Luxurious One" Himbolicious, we had a carb-fest at this yummy little Italian place and did some shopping and running around. Himbo said he had to buy some nutritious goodies, you know like Champagne, Frozen Pizza's and Fruit Punch (for when I come over) after finally convincing Himbo the energizer bunny that I had a turtle head creeping out from all that Italian food he finally released me from captivity, man that boy can shop!