Thursday, November 6, 2008

Gotta Love Those Random Drug Tests

After my story yesterday about my little "outburst"
and this next story I'm about to tell you,
you may get a bad impression from me & my Hubby...
just try not to hold it against me.*giggle*

In our defense, we are not always so... umm...
what's the word I'm looking for? ... mean?
Ok we'll go with "mean", we are not mean people but honestly
sometimes people can just annoy you to a point of no return!

So my Hubby's job requires random drug tests like most companies do,
but because of his profession he is not even allowed to have alcohol in his
system even if he works the next day.
Yes, I know pretty strict, sometimes it sucks.

Anyway yesterday Hubby gets called in to the clinic to take a drug test,
which is totally fine because Hubby obviously hasn't been drinking
and definitely doesn't have any dope in his system.

Hubby arrives at the clinic and only see’s the janitor cleaning the lobby, the janitor tells Hubby that the little nurse man is probably out back smoking a cigarette and he’ll go and get him. Hubby’s not really in a hurry at this point but thanks the janitor and off he goes.

Little nurse man comes back inside reeking of smoke looking a little annoyed that he was disturbed during his smoke break and hands Hubby a cup to piss in and says “fill it up to this line”

Hubby had just taken a break about 15 minutes before he was notified to take his drug test so he doesn’t really have to go at this point, but he tried anyway and got close enough to the “line” he was supposed to reach.

Well now little nurse man takes the cup and has to fill up two separate vials, he's pours the first one and spills. Little nurse man seemed to be irritated because this happened. Now he's attempting to fill the second one but he doesn't have enough "liquid" to fill it. Had he not spilled the first one he could have totally filled the second one! So what does little nurse man do?

He spilled out both vials and hands Hubby a new cup and says
"Do it again!"

Hubby's starting to get a little upset with little nurse man
and tells him a thing or two about his attitude
and how it was his fault for spilling the goods.

Now Hubby has to drink his weight in water and sit there for about an hour, when finally he's ready to go. He tells little nurse man he needs a cup and little nurse mans says,
"Now "YOU'RE" going to have to wait!" all snooty.

Really little nurse man? You dare challenge Bon Don's Hubby!

Little nurse man finally gives Hubby the cup and tells him
not to turn on the water faucet to wash his hands until
after he brings the cup back to him. So Hubby knows
he can't knock out little nurse man for being an asshole
of course Hubby has more sense than that to jeopardize his job,
but it wouldn't be right if little nurse man felt all
high & mighty for being a little punk right!?

Now what does Hubby do?
Well being awesome and vengeful like his dear wife (me)
his pisses in the cup (to the line)
then proceeds to piss all over the outside of the cup
all over his hand to the point where there is piss everywhere...
then walks over and places it right on little nurse man's desk
with a piss ring and piss dropping onto the desk.
Washes his hands and tells little nurse man to have a good night.

Yup that's my man!


Mich said...

Bahahahaha Your hubby is funny!

DulaDip said...

LOL!! OMG I luv Dido!
Write a Nasty Gram!

Gabby said...

Ahahahaha! I love it! You and your hubs = my new bffs.

Although I work in healthcare and if anyone made piss rings on my yeah, not so much. :)

MzTapz said...

F*ckin love it!!
I wanna go kick lil nurse bitch..I mean lil man in his knees!!

Lil fucker!! hahaha

Yua Sista said...

OH how I love my Compa! Love him love him I do! I read this to your Godson because that was the only way I could get the computer from him and he said "HA HA HA" well it was a real laugh!

Darla's a little angry huh?

Smileygirl said...

Doesn't sound like this is the first time this happened to little grump ass nurse man. Good job hubby!

Kellie said...

OMG, this is GREAT! I love it! He totally deserved it!

LBluca77 said...

HAHAHA!! Payback is a bitch!!

Far said...

bahahahaha this is SOOO gross its hilarious LOL

Sum1 OLD, Sum1 NEW, Sum1 BORROWED, Sum1 BLUE said...

This story is so FUNNY I've been re-capping it to my freinds at work...F**king hilarious!!!