Friday, November 14, 2008

15 Mother F**ker's

Well you all know Bon Don's Hubby by now...

Kind of a smart ass, but very funny. He doesn't get angry with people the way I do after I've been extremely irritated. I've said before that he's a driver, I wasn't going to go into detail about his job before but this is one of the MANY stories he has from life on the road and I thought it was funny! My Hubby is a bus driver...yes a bus driver in California...
a bus driver in California with all us crazy people!

Here's the scene: Hubby pulls up to a stop opens the door, when a 95lb little miniature broken down Whoopi Goldberg look-alike stumbles onto the bus shit faced drunk as hell. She hangs onto the fare box to stop herself from swaying, and yells at him...
"How the Fuck do I get to Mother Fucken Gardenia?"

Hubby: You know...I'm not familiar with Gardenia...I honestly don't know. Sorry.

Drunk Lady: Ok so then where is the Mother Fucken Metrolink?

Hubby: The Metrolink is back the other way, you're going in the wrong direction.

Drunk Lady: Mother Fucker!!!... the other mother fucker told me it was this way!! Which one of you mother fuckers is lying to me?!!

Hubby: Maybe he was wrong, I don't know...but I do know that the Metrolink is towards the other direction, because if you stay on this bus you'll be heading towards the beach.

Drunk Lady: Well where does this mother fucken bus go?

Hubby: This bus goes to Huntington Beach.

Drunk Lady: Mother Fucken Huntington Beach?

Hubby: Yes.

Drunk Lady: Where the fuck am I at right now?

Hubby: Well right now you are in Stanton.

Drunk Lady: Mother Fucken Stanton!!?

Hubby: Yes.

Drunk Lady: Well give me one of those mother fucken tickets then.

Hubby: You've only put in 50 cents so that will only buy you one trip, if you're disabled.

Drunk Lady: Whatchu mean mother fucker it's not like I'm not going to pay for the mother fucker! let me off this mother fucken bus! (now she's trying to open the door)

Hubby: You have to wait for the next bus stop.

Hubby: (Hubby pulls up to the next stop and says) Here you go...remember next time before you come out and play, you need to know where you're going and where you're at.

Drunk Lady: Fuck you you fat mother fucker!

Hubby: Ok you "Ugly Mother Fucker"!

Drunk Lady stops in her tracks and starts laughing really hard turns around and says "Stupid Mother Fucker!"

Hubby: Ok well you have a good night "Lost" mother fucker! Closes the doors and leaves!


Smileygirl said...

OMG I Am dying!! I can totally visualize this whole exchange. I'm sure this will not be the first time he sees this Mother fucker again. Dang, if only there were video cams on those buses. So fucking funny!!!

Gabby said...

"Lost mother fucker" made me lose it! I was waiting for this story and it was waaaaay better then I expected!

Yua Sista said...

LOL so funny totally reminded me of that Ugly Kat comedian guy!

Far said...


dude youre stories are NUTS!! loves it

Rick said...

That was &*^%$# funny. I hope that poor drunk &*&%$# lady made it safely home.

And calling your husband "fat!" That just ain't nice.

Himbo said...


I want more BDC sotries!

Sum1 OLD, Sum1 NEW, Sum1 BORROWED, Sum1 BLUE said...

I was crying I was laughing so hard...naturally I told my friends at work...they loved this story better then the drug test one.

The Loss Adjuster said...

Bwa ha ha!

Princess Katrina said...

hahahaha so funny! Thats crazy! Loves it!!

Princess Katrina said...

I agree with Smileygirl... if they could have recorded that it would totally make it to some funny show.

MzTapz said...

OM Gawd!! That was too hilarious!!

This story was too funny NOT to share. So I shared it with the "koo Kidz" here at work.=]

Now everybody here are "Lost Mother Fuckers" ...well according to us!! hahaha