Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Please Excuse Me...

Top 10 following reasons for seeming like a raging b!tch today:

1. My stomach has been turning and my ass has been on fire for the last few days due to the excessive amount of Orange Juice I drank in one day with my Champagne.

2. I was drifting off into deep slumber last night when my guard dog Dingy starts screaming and yelling and barking like something was hurting her, because something was!

I don't know if it was a cat or a possum but something came into the house and Dingy defended her turf. She is fine but the sound was scary... I think Hubby even had the 44. ready before I jumped out of bed.

3. I couldn't fall back asleep after all that excitement, so I don't feel rested.

4. When I got in the shower my daughter flipped up the shower head so when I turned on the shower, cold water sprayed me and pissed me off.

5. I got out of the shower and sat on my bed to "think" about what I was going to wear to work and I fell asleep SITTING UP! When I woke up I realized I was almost late so I felt lightheaded, rushed and out of it.

6. I couldn't find comfy underwear for like 5 minutes.

7. Before I left to work, I stopped in my daughters room to steal some lotion and seen that the beds were unmade and wet towels were left on the bed post. (not good)

8. I was running late and told my carpool buddy aka Himbo to be ready and be outside cause we were going to be late if he made me wait for him to finish putting on his fu'ken make-up (or suit same difference) Well he wasn't outside so I left him.

9. Barely made it to work on time, then realized I had no make-up on and didn't even untangle my hair yet when I seen my boss walking in. I had to put on a fake smile and act like I had been up for hours.

10. Realized I was starving... and ran out of cereal.

***and yeah, yeah, yeah I know all about the "Secret" and if I keep "putting it out there in the Universe" my day will continue to get worst, but right now I just need to get through the morning, Oh and in case you're concerned Himbo got to work on time because my morning carpool driver went back for him.***

20 comments:

Desert Rat said...

Awe poor girl. OK blah blah

YOU SEE THAT IS EXACTLY WHY I AM AFRAID TO SLEEP IN THE LIVINGROOM WITH THE DOOR OPEN! DAMN ANIMALS

I hope you have a better day, eat some chocolate and you should be fine...I know hot chocolate with a chocolate croissant.

TishTash said...

Comfy underwear was outlawed by Victoria's Secret. Didn't you get the memo?

Retired But Tryin! said...

eat comfort food! that always makes my day go better! and drink lemonade!

BDC said...

The shower scene had me rollin with laughter cuz i do shit on purpose. Plus dhingy doesnt even get paid to gaurd this turf let alone have a sleeping quarter. No housing for the gaurd dog, why she even works here still blows my mind. one last thing HIMBO sucks litteraly... Its not that hard HIMBO, The pink panties go with the pink bra. Clean it up COCK WHORE!!!!!!! Quit watching Jake Cruise......

Stephanie said...

At least you went to work! I think if it had been me and my day had gotten started off like that I would have just called in and taken a day to rest and relax. I hope your day gets better. Go to a fun lunch... somewhere nice and yummy!

Bon Don said...

DR: How did I know you'd say Chocolate would make everything better?

Tish: I think they "Secret-ly" rule the world... ha ha "secret-ly" Ok I'll stop now.

RBT: Lemonade sounds perfect right about now!!

BDC: LMFAO!! Jake Cruise!! I love you.

Steph: I think Corner Bakery or Chipotle sounds great! mmmmm :) I'm happier already!

repliderium.com said...

"The Secret" can kiss my ass.

moooooog35 said...

What is this thing you call, "underwear?"

lucklys said...

yeah, the secret is bullshit. if i want something, i'm gonna go get it, not send positive thoughts out into the universe in hopes that it might drop in my lap. lazy.

i've fallen asleep in the shower and woken up right before i slipped, if it makes you feel any better. it's never a good wakeup.

ReRe said...

i hate those kind of days

Desert Rat said...

BTW. My day is going great, slept till 1030 brought the housekeeper with me to San Lucas for some laundry issues and used her - I mean took her to eat FISH TACOS at Captain's and then she threatened to beat me if we didn't go to Haagen's so I took her there too...UGH but that sucks about you! I've got to go to the pool now. Peace out.

Kellie said...

Ew. Sounds like one helluva day. Well it can only get better. Right? It's hump day. Have a cold beverage after work and everything will seem better. And glad to hear your little Dingy is okay!

Bon Don said...

Kim: I know right!

Moooooog35: You can't wear them with button fly jeans!

Lucklys: LOL...That really did make me feel better!

ReRe: Word!

DR: I hate ya face!

SO!!?? I don't care cause it's raining here and I can go home and lay under the covers and be warm while I eat a DISNEYLAND CUPCAKE!! Beat That!

Kell Bell: It's cause Dingy's a gangsta! She's "ferocious" in all her 6 pound glory!

MzTapz said...

Okay, so i pictured you falling asleep while sitting up looking like a druggie that just got his fix? What?? You can't tell me you haven't seen one of dem kind, right? lol

Fuckin Dingy is a "Gangsta Rock Star!" She's off the hook!

Sonia said...

Starving in the morning and running out of milk is bad enough but running out of cereal is the worst!

Hanako66 said...

Hub has threatened to hide/throw away all of my "comfy" undies...

Get takeout for dinner and watch your fav show on TV while eating ice cream and you'll be bomb.

Reina Bee said...

Raging bitch until you had your Corner Bakery & saw your Sugar Booger. Did you two make out in the car again?!

Himbo said...

I.Am.So.Sure.BDC! There are different shades of pink and then there's strapless versus strapped, water versus wonder, thong versus g-string... so many decisions to make every morning. Don't hate. And btw betch, I don't watch Jake Cruise....anymore! That's what Nip/Tuck's for.

Lol jk!

-Himbo

Mary Moore said...

Glad the guard doggy is ok!!

Hope your day got better!!

SheBloggs said...

(I know I'm late reading thes!) I'm sorry for you bad day, I had one just like it too! I was crackin up about finding your compfy underwear! You have those too!! I have like a billion diff sizes for my fat ass..