Lunch time came around so I called Dula Dip & Reina Bee to head out to lunch, we opted for the employee cafeteria. After sitting there watching Reina Bee suck the BBQ sauce off the ribs she was eating (which was a show in itself let me tell you) I said "I feel like crap, make me laugh"
...being the awesome friends that they are I seen the expression on their faces change into a deep concentration, trying to think of something to make me laugh.
Reina Bee: Ok I got one, I don't think I told you guys about my laundry night did I?
Dula Dip / Bon Don: *shaking heads no*
Reina Bee: Well the other night I was doing laundry and someone left clothes in the washer, as it was all the washers were taken and this asshole just leaves the wet clothes in the washer. I was pissed, I could only wash two loads cause I wasn't about to wait there all night! Even when I was done drying the clothes were still there, so I took this lint that someone took out of the dryer and crumbled it into the washer!
Bon Don: Oh now that's just mean! / Dula Dip: Yeah Reina that's pretty messed up!
Reina Bee: Fuck you bitches, you do way meaner things than that! That was funny!
Dula Dip: Reina what if that person didn't come back because they got into an accident?
Bon Don: Yeah!? *laughing because Reina Bee is getting frustrated*
Dula Dip: And what if because of the accident they had to make a homemade wheelchair just to try and get the clothes out of the washer and it takes them a long time to get to the laundry room?
Bon Don: Yeah... and they broke their arm in the accident, and now they are trying to get back to take the clothes out of the washer so they wouldn't piss you off but they keep rolling in circles because they can't get the hang of the homemade wheelchair and when they finally get close to the laundry room they pop a tire!
Dula Dip: Not only did they pop a tire but they popped it right in front of the door to the laundry room so discourage and then seen you crumbling the lint in their washer *imitates the sound of air releasing and then leans to one side like she got a flat tire*
Reina Bee: I fucken hate you guys, Shut up you're making me mad!
Dula Dip & Bon Don: *Laughing at Reina's anger*
Well I laughed so hard I aggravated my nose and it just started bleeding (yes like a coke whore with a deviated septum!) I got up and hurried to the restroom, as I kept getting visuals of what we were telling Reina Bee I started laughing and it made blood spray all over my shirt! Eeww.
Mean while back at the cafeteria, Reina Bee and Dula Dip called Security because there was a few drops of blood on the table and since Dula Dip is on the "safety committee" you can't wipe up blood you have to call Security. So now Security comes in takes the table into the hallway and hoses it down with bleach!
After my nose stops bleeding, I go back to my desk unaware of what's happening in the cafeteria when Reina Bee's boss comes by to ask if I'm ok because the cafeteria looks like a murder scene with pools and trails of blood everywhere!
I'm so embarrassed and say "No way, are you serious?"
He starts laughing and says "Not really there were a few drops of blood on the table but Reina & Dula didn't let me wipe it up, then Security comes in takes the table out in haz-mat suits and hoses it down in the hallway. It looks like CSI in there"
I wanted to kill them!
Oh well I asked for it right? I wanted them to make me laugh.
15 comments:
Well you got what you asked for. They made you laugh till your nose bleed. Can you say deviated septum, Sum one needs to clean it up. I'm just sayin` I dont know the receipe. CLEAN IT UP COKE WHORE!
Damn... you did ask for it. that was funny... i was picturing a little old lady going in circles and watching your friend throw the lint in the washer....
i want to work with you guys...
LOL...that's a first I've ever heard! Stop sniffin' all that good stuff and it'll never happen again, no matter how funny a story is :p
Hahaha, you coke whore w/ your deviated septum! This is too funny! You've definitely made me laugh! :)
Have you seen "The Heartbreak Kid" w/ Ben Stiller? There's a scene in that w/ his wife who tells him she was a coke addict, duh, he should have known that b/c she had a deviated septum. Okay, it's funnier on the movie. I can't explain it. :)
BDC: LOL "I don't know the receipe"
Mr. Sainz: I still had a visual as I was writting the post, and it still made me laugh!
Ron: I think your right, I should just switch back to smoking crack! none of these kind of things happen then!
***For the record... NEVER was really a coke whore I just like the referrence!***
Kellie: OMGosh YES I lov e that movie!!! that's where I got it from!!
I even love the part after sex and you hear a fart sound, when she says "It's not what you think that was"
You had me at 'coke whore.'
I so know what you mean, (bout the nose bleedin') I wake up and I have them too, I got a humidifier.. shit doesn't work.
Thanks for the laugh!
Aaaah, another a sista who knows my nose bleed issues. Whenever I'm sick, I get a sinus infection, and then the nosebleeds begin. Sucks! And always out of the left nostril, NEVER the right. Weird! Wonder if there are crack whores who lean left only...hmmm....
HAHA, yeah- you totally deserved the bloody nose.
Ive laughed hard before, but never hard enough to make my nose bleed. that is a record. even if your nose was sensative.
geez, if someone came in hazmat suits to clean my blood, Id feel like a dirty girl!
I will keep your secret why your nose bleeds....haha jk
Ha! Now those are what I would call real friends!
I only have a few seconds to tell you that you are fast becoming one of my favorite people and I can't wait to read your blogs! The reason I only have a few is cuz I keep having these fits of laughter.....here it comes again!!!!
Thats Hilarious...I need to find work friends like yours
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